Tales of the Fabulous One

this esh mah' quiz. CLICK IT

2006-02-11T15:52:00.000-08:00

Take part in my quiz: How Well Do You Know Your Imaginary Demon?.

Geoffrey The Unicorn

2006-02-10T12:51:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there was a unicorn. And his name was Geoffrey.
Now Geoffrey had everything a spiritually correct person could want. A loving family, a warm home to return to when the day was over, and tots. But Geoffrey was not happy.
For what Geoffrey wanted more than his mother and father was to join........................................the ballet club. But each time he asked to oin, the ballet club members would say,
"No! We dislike you because you have hooves! And tots!" And sp Geoffrey would walk away, growing ever more depressed with each rejection.
One sleepy Tuesday, when Geoffrey had just finished his xylophone lessons, he had an idea! A plan actually, a plan that was sure to get him into the ballet club!
"Genious!" Geoffrey cackled maniacally, "Muwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
It was Thursday, the ballet club was practicing their pirouettes, when Geoffrey set his plan into action.
He sprang from his hiding place and, after taking out his wand, shouted,
"AVADA KEDAVRA!"
And then Geoffrey WAS the ballet club

~THE END~

Santa Clause: Jolly elf or annual stalker? (behold my paranoia)

2006-02-09T16:00:00.000-08:00

Many would say that Santa is a fictional character representing the spirit of giving without expecting anything in return. I scoff at their innocence, and beg to differ.

SANTA CLAUS- PRO's
-Gives out free gifts
- Is jolly
-Likes reindeer
-Likes cookies and milk
-Has a fairy mum
-Is totally rich (we can assume this because he owns the North Pole)

SANTA CLAUS-CON's
-Inslaves cute, tiny elves
-Is a hypocrite (he talks big, but when Rudholph needed him whilst the other reindeer where ruining his childhood, the fat man ignores it until he needs a headlight)
-Steals cookies (assumes they are left out for him, when they could be for the spirit of Labor Day, possibly the most unsung spirit ever)
-Watches you when you sleep ("...sees you when you're sleeping...")
-Never gives the right things. Always gives toys and the like, never a pound of flour to those who need it.

Now you too know the painful truth about Santa Claus, use your knowledge well.

I is booooored

2006-01-16T13:04:00.000-08:00

I ave decided to type down everything I feel think from now on for the next two minutes.

Hey, this werewolf looks, well, that's really not the issus is it? No, I guess it's not. My cookies didn't turn out so well. As in burned. Me feels like a fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool. Hmm.
Maybe I should go to Martoq. Or Gaia. Or not. Especially since I just came from there, if I went just now I would probabyl fall into the catagory of obsession. Scary obsession. Scary scary obsession. Scary.
Hey, I should watch a Buffy. Which I am doing. Talk about fast.
~BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER~
SEASON 2-
EPISODE "PHASES"
SCENE 10-IN THE LOCKER ROOM-
XANDER:"Why so jumpy Larry?" (Xander thinks Larry is the werewolf)
LARRY:"Geeks make me nervous"
XANDER:"Is that really it or is there something you're hiding?"
LARRY:"I could hide my fist in your face"
XANDER:" I know your secret big guy. I know what you been doing at night
LARRY: "You know, Harris, that nosey little nose of your is going to get you in trouble some day" *grabs the front of Xander (Haris's) shirt* "Like today"
XANDER:"Hurting me isn't gonna' make this go away. People are still gonna' find out."
LARRY:"Alright. Is that it? What do you want? Hush money? Is that what you're after?"
XANDER: "I don't want anything! I just want to help!"
LARRY:" What, you think you have a cure?"
XANDER: "No, it's just. I know what you're going through because I've been there."(Xander got tured into a hyena-erson in Season 1) "I know you should talk about it."
LARRY: "Yeah, that's easy for you to say,I mean you're nobody. I've got a reputation"
XANDER:"Larry, please, before someone else gets hurt."
LARRY:"You know, if this gets out, it's over for me. I mean, forget about playing football. They'll run me out of this town. I menan, C'MON, HOW ARE PEOPLE GOING TO LOOK AT ME AFTER THEY FIND OUT I'M GAY? "
XANDER: *has a look on his face like " Oops..."

Nickname test results....

2006-01-13T16:55:00.000-08:00

I tend to overreact. Alot. For example; my friend sent me this link to this quiz (Quizzilla) site and the nickname test they have there. I took it (3 times...) and here are my results.

My first results were.....
Your new nick-name is 2K. You are freakin' nuts, and the people around you know it. You do your best to hide how calm you can be (etc, that's all I can remember {:-) )

My seccond result was....
Your new nickname is Mo-mo. You like cute and fuzzy things and have a thing for candy (me: candy?)

My third result was...
Your new nickname is Twitch.You're a very strange person and you think everything is all fun and games till someones eye is poked out. You are very independent and have lots of stange friends just like you, and together you all are the 2nd version of "Jackass the Movie!"

yay!

MATH DANCE!!!

2005-12-17T19:04:00.000-08:00

STEP #1-Ball up both your hands and place them in the air (water, nothingness, wherever you get a signal)
STEP #2-As one, move them in VEEERRRRY little circles.
STEP #3-Every 10 seconds or so say "TIMES IT!" and draw a quick X in the air, or say "EQUAAAaalls!" draw an + sign with smooth movements
STEP #4-Go back to moving your hands in front of you, your body needn't move. Keep a solemn face.

ISN'T THAT WONDERFULL?!?!? ><;;

My eyes.... Let me tell you about them!

2005-12-10T11:01:00.000-08:00

My eyes burn with a chocolatey goodness! Here's what happened....
It is a cold morning here on Earth, and I was not immune to the cold. I zipped up my polartech© (that stuff is what dreams are made of...). I was stillcold. I looked over to my fridge, then up to the cupboard where we keep the powdered chocolate for chocolate milk. I looked back and forth between the two of them for like, 10 minutes before my brain could actually concoct anything. I walked over, got a cup, got out the milk, poured the milk into the cup, grabbed a spoon, took down the chocolate milk mix by whacking it with a crossbow. I then spooned tons of chocolate powder into the milk. As we all know, the powder doesn't immediately sink to the bottom of the stupid cup. I wanted to speed things up, so I blew on it. Instead of pushing it to the bottom, my breath made the powder come back AT ME, and hence into my eyes. But never fear, my eyes only burned with a chocolately deliscious-ness (I was torn between the pain in my eyes and how nice the chocolate smelled, I'm hopeless) for a few minutes. AND I HAD MY SIGHT BACK WITHIN MOMENTS! I didn't drink the chocolate milk after that though...

Moral: Never blow on powdered chocolate, bad things happen.

More things that annoy me...(and most other bouqets of roses)

2005-12-10T10:09:00.000-08:00

I was just on the phone with a good friend of mine, and that talk inspired me to write this "Things that piss off the people around you," read it well. You will make many friends if you follow these guidlines (or not, I'm not a phsycic)

Thing not to do #1- Try not to say or ask the SAME thing again, and again. I know you may not have heard them correctly, but you're just going to have to LIVE with it, don't make the other person suffer because you can't focus.

Thing not to do #2- Offer activities that you may like, and they probably don't. Stuff like that stress the limits of many people's patience and manners. A wise telemarketer once said (whist in the UC room at the local hospital) that " It is better not to push and push on sujects that may be interperted as annoying. It is also better to teach yourself to ask what they like and learn patience in doing so, instead of persisting and forcing them to 'teach' you 'patience.'" Like candle shopping. When someone I know asked me if mayhap I would like to go candle shopping with them. The first response that popped into my head was, " Like h**l I do. God knows we could never have enough candles." but what I really said was, "Sure!" Most people would have chucked a spoon at the request-er's head, but not I. (I prefer to chuck hotel phamplets.) Why go?, you may be wondering. I go on such dull outings because I know that it's better to have shopped for candles and made a friend happy, than not shop for candles, retain some vague sense of sanity, and get on with my life. If that made sense to you, something is wrong.

Thing not to do #3- Offer bran muffins. THEY ARE THE OPPISITE OF ANYTHING THAT MAY HELP YOUR REALTIONSHIP!! THEY ARE FROM THAT PLACE THAT ANYONE WHO (supposedly) DOESN'T BELIEVE IN GOD GOES!! THAT PLCE WHERE ALL TELEMARKETERS THAT CALL AT DIN DIN ARE HEADED!!! AVOID BRAN MUFFINS!!

There ya' go.

The birth of the Fabulous One

2005-12-09T15:01:00.000-08:00

'Twas a fine autumn day. The wind was blowing, the trees were cold and bare. Wolves prowled the edges of the village. And then the day was over. And everyone was still alive. And you are finding out that we care NOTHING for this day.

THE ACTUAL BITH
You may be wondering, "Does she know how to spell 'birth?'" But I reallllly meant BITH, not birth. Why would I write about a birth? The fabulous One was created in a 'bith.'

For those of you who don't know what a bith is...

BITH:
adj.(Bî-t-hhh); 1:A losing game of poker 2: A pancake that is taped to a duck 3: The creation of something through poodles. I SAID POODLES AND I MEANT POODLES!!

(ahem)
So there ya' go...

Something utterly not associated with the Fabulous One.......

2005-12-09T14:00:00.000-08:00

Just to let you people know, I have some very cold opinions on certain things. These opinions tend to burn the flesh from your pancake if you read them. Here they are:
-Bran. I hate bran, it is just a cheap "healthy" rip-off of flour and corn meal. And it tastes like crap. I mean, diet books say stuff like, "Eat this, it's goooood for youuuu," and I'm all like, " Why the banana should I do that when i could be eating deliscious cornmeal? ANSWER ME STUPID BOOK!" And that rude book never answers me. You know WHY it doesn't answer me? Because it knows I'm RIGHT, and just isn't brave enough to admit it. Stupid book.

-Books are SO much better than computers. I mean, their not fickle in the least, tend to only have one person controlling it, and wont keep telling you that "YOU COULD BE A HUGE WINNER IF YOU CLICK HERE!!!" And you can take books wherever. They don't cause technical difficulties when you try to use the on a plane in flight. And they are great self-defense tools as well. I mean, try chucking a hard-drive or a moniter at an attacking monkey. THAT wouldn't hold that monkey off for a seccond.

-Coneheads are the bane of my existence. I'm serious! They freak me out. If we were ever intended to have cones for heads, frogs would ride unicorns into the sunset each Tuesday. And how could anyone find them funny? Their monotones and claims at a french heritage are..........terrifying. The words "cone" and "head" shouldn't even be in the same sentence. Se if you ever see an anti-conehead crusade, look for me. I'll be there.

The Beginning

2005-11-02T17:40:00.000-08:00

These are the tales of the Fabulous One. We, eing mere mortals, shall call her F.O., for a few reasons. The first of these reasons being that a very specific few may utter the title "Fabulous One," as well as the fact that "F.O." is easier to type.
Annnywaay, this is the beginning of the tales of F.O. Tremble mortals, for what you are about to read may burn your mind with it's fabulous-ness (is that a word?). Tremble.