Tales of the Fabulous One

Tales, of Someone who enjoys being called Fabulous...AND IS!!!!

Location: Planet, Earth

I speak...english... sometimes...

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Santa Clause: Jolly elf or annual stalker? (behold my paranoia)

Many would say that Santa is a fictional character representing the spirit of giving without expecting anything in return. I scoff at their innocence, and beg to differ.

-Gives out free gifts
- Is jolly
-Likes reindeer
-Likes cookies and milk
-Has a fairy mum
-Is totally rich (we can assume this because he owns the North Pole)

-Inslaves cute, tiny elves
-Is a hypocrite (he talks big, but when Rudholph needed him whilst the other reindeer where ruining his childhood, the fat man ignores it until he needs a headlight)
-Steals cookies (assumes they are left out for him, when they could be for the spirit of Labor Day, possibly the most unsung spirit ever)
-Watches you when you sleep ("...sees you when you're sleeping...")
-Never gives the right things. Always gives toys and the like, never a pound of flour to those who need it.

Now you too know the painful truth about Santa Claus, use your knowledge well.


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